Saturday, August 05, 2017

Lonely, Quiet House

Three weeks ago, we lost our baby:  Lily.  She had just celebrated her 8th birthday on Tuesday, July 11th.

She was perfectly fine on Friday, but then Saturday started acting all down in the dumps and her tail was drooping.  After Ron & she took a nap, she stopped walking, eating, drinking.  She didn't seem to be present, like she didn't know or care where she was.

We took her to an emergency vet, and they thought she had a neurological issue.  Lily did start walking around a bit, but her gait was off.  So this vet suggested we take her to the Emergency Veterinarian Hospital.

Once there, they took blood and ran some gasses.  Turns out she was in acute liver failure.  She had a blockage, and the ammonia in her system had built up to the point it had destroyed her liver.  I didn't understand what the vet was telling us, at first.  She kept talking about putting Lily on IV's to try to flush her system, but she said it was guarded and most likely her liver was beyond repair.  And it would cost $3,500 - $5,000.

The other option would be to put her to sleep.

Huh?  I just couldn't compute that.  I was sure we would be able to get some medicine and take her home to try to treat her at home.

Eventually it sunk in and the tears started and wouldn't stop.

They let us have some time with her, and we put her on the floor to see if she could walk.  She just kept curled up scooting around in a circle, like she was blind or crippled.  It was heart breaking.

Ron didn't want to let her die at home, because the vet said she would start to have seizures and they wouldn't be pretty.  I didn't care.  I wanted her there, with me.

But I let him overrule and we put her to sleep.  He couldn't bear to stay in the room, but I couldn't bear to leave her alone.  It didn't take long, and the vet explained the shots they gave her, while I held her wrapped in my arms.  When she passed, I let out a long loud scream.

We haven't been without a pet since Kelly was 5, if you count her hamsters and Hoss.  We haven't been without a dog in more than 10 years.

I had been thinking about getting another one, so we wouldn't be alone when Lily passed.  But of course, without a job, it's hard to afford an expensive Bichon.

Between the difficulties in finding a job, and the loss of our Lily, I've been very depressed.  I am going to the fitness center every day, to 1) not only get in shape; but 2) hoping that the activity and adrenalin will help my mental state.